Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
