would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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