Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she pinky promised me she was 18
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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