The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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