only you would photoshop your dick
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize