you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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