I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
