You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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