Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
