There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
