you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
