Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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