Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize