you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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