We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
