In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
