maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
