I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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