I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
