Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
