ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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