oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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