brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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