I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
