i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
