Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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