Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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