I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
