Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
