I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
