HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
