cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
