Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
