Define "chronic" masturbator.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
