Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so let's talk penis.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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