Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
