we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Randomize
