Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
