evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
