When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
