From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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