he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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