I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
