Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
