In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
