that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
