You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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