Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
