I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
