love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
