If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
