White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
