Buhtt sex?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
