so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
