ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
