found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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