I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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