So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She bit a glass in half.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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