I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
