I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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