I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
