sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
