Even the bartender felt bad for me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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