At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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