so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
