Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
